26th Years Journey…

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Twenty-six is a rough age. All your life, you look forward to being twenty-one so you’re allowed to go to chillax and legally drive. Then you spend the next few years being glad that you can go to shopping, hang out till 9 and chit chat. Twenty-two is cool, Twenty-three is cool, Twenty-four is cool, Twenty-five is cool and then BAM. You turn twenty-six and suddenly, it’s not so cool anymore. You’re only four years away from being thirty. You start analyzing every aspect of your life. Where is it going? Why aren’t I married? Why don’t I have kids? Chances are by now, you know several couples who are getting married and several couples who have children. Then you start to think “well my parents were married by now” or “all my uncles and aunts were married by now” or “wait my parents already had TWO kids by the time they were twenty-five!” lol.

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Then you start thinking about all the things in life that you haven’t done yet. I still haven’t traveled to Europe… I still haven’t published a book…sigh..

Then you start analyzing the person you’re in a relationship with. Are they the one? If not, why am I wasting my time? I’m almost thirty! What if I’m thirty and all my friends are married and I’m not?!” lol, inggar !

Maybe this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. I always said that I would never move out of kuching because I’d miss all my family and friends here. Then I turned twenty-six, and all of a sudden I became extremely jealous that my twenty year old sister was traveling abroad to go to school for 3 year . ! Hell, I had only been to four countries and that was years ago! What if I get married in the next five years and then I have a family and never get a chance to go to Europe? I started reading blogs about people traveling to different countries and looking at pictures of their journeys. I started remembering when I was back in high school and we’d take school trips to Brisbane and do all sorts of activities and life was so fun. I didn’t even appreciate it then. Now I felt like all I did was work and come home and watch TV. I felt like I was too old to do some of the things I did in high school, but too young to settle down and have a family yet. Or was I? Maybe I’d be ready if I met the right person. Hmmm…

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So then I started analyzing my current relationship. Did I really want to marry my boyfriend? I loved him, but I knew deep down that the thought of marrying him didn’t excite me. So why was I with him? Was I just afraid of being alone? What if my future husband was out there and I’m missing out because I’m wasting time with my current boyfriend? I knew I didn’t want to end up thirty and the only one out of my friends that wasn’t married!

Then I started analyzing my job. I work as an Civil Engineer, so basically I involve with Professional field domain by men… I didn’t mind it, but was I passionate about it? Did I love my job? No,Sometimes, I didn’t love it. I did it because it paid well and it’s something I had years of experience in now. So what was I passionate about?

Well, there are two things I’ve always loved since I was a kid: writing and music. I think it may be a little late for me to become the next Mariah Carey or Stephen King, Saripah Aini, lol…hahaha. , but that doesn’t mean that I can’t do both in my spare time. You can always make time for the things you love.

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All in all, I think twenty-six is an age where you discover who you really are. What I mean by that is finding who we REALLY are; what we’ve always loved deep down that makes us different from everyone else. I think as young adults, we know what our passions are, but as we get older we get so caught up in life we forget about it. In high school, you don’t care about things you feel passionately about. You care about whose parents are going away that weekend, who’s going to buy you Prada and if your current crush is going to attend the party. Then after high school, you care about where you’re going to go to college and where you’re going to work. You don’t worry about if you’re current boyfriend or girlfriend is “the one” or if your job is the job of your dreams. But then when you turn twenty-six, you realize you have to think about these things. After all, you’re reaching adulthood! What a scary thing. I’m still twenty-six though, so I’m still in the process of analyzing every aspect of my life and envying the people who have chased their dreams more than I have. I’ve always wanted to move to Singapore… publish a book… but hey, writing part time is a start to my writing ambition. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

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